Nov 21, 2013

I hate my mother.......

a failed blow for freedom...the Florida move

I'm just writing this for myself but anyone is welcome to read it.

people have often asked me....why did you mess everything up and try to move to Florida...that was the dumbest thing you ever did.....right, it caused a huge amount of problems and I terribly regret the action.

mother, currently.........

daughter staying at the ex-husbands

according to mother the daughter called.....first the ex said....oh, I've got someone here that wants to talk to you...some of this came later...first it was just the bragging info to me about the daughter.

mother reported......xxxxx called and said "Hi, Grandma, how are you,"

she called me grandma and everything........


and I said,  Oh well, xxx if I would see you walking down the street I wouldn't recognize you...


Later I said, yes, in anger, it is so humiliating for me that you continue to carry on a relationship with my ex-husband, someone who repeatedly verbally insulted me and humiliated me....

people just don't like you, he often reminded....I can still hear that ringing in my ears......

of course, mother insisted she did not call him

we did a verbal dance of 5 minutes about how she talked to xxx because she did not want to say she spoke on the phone with my ex because she did not want to hear about it with anger.

she did not call

xxx did not call


so finally I said well if you did not call and xxx did not call how did you chat

mother does not want to be questioned..........

you're trying to tell ME what to do ....she often shouts with the arrogance of bill o'reilly

mother loves to play the role of the victim

I reminded mother.......

I said last Christmas I begged you to just give a 20 dollar gift to xxxx, put your name on it and I would pay for it....in an attempt to get  the family together

mother got real mad and hung up


the beauty of the whole thing now.....I get to talk and mother can't get away

in her younger days, yes, this was after she threw me out, she would stand in my front door...na-na, na-na, na-na, poke a stick in my eye, drop a verbal bomb and run off.....

I just don't have it, chloe, I can't afford it....about the Christmas gift for miss xxxxxx

so the outcome.....mother loves to have my ex feel very sorry for her.... but when I tried to accomplish the same thing mother acted up... basically acted like a child that would not cooperate.....got mad ran off, took her ball and went home


It's a conspiracy against me, I tell  you

right mom, everyone is out to get you--the kids loved to say in their teenage wisdom.

you see the kids don't get It.

yes they do know mother is weird, but they don't get that my ex-husband, his girlfriend (the one who knows everything) tried to completely eliminate me from the life of my children....with the help of mother.

mother said my ex had a right to treat me poorly because I talk so bad....getting angry and everything.

why I said when I was 2 years old and we were swimming....."What are ya trying to do, drown me?" as if I talked like a sailor when I was the wise age of two......

right, I was 2, I was in charge and mother was completely innocent.

why are you balling me out?

oh i don't know because you testified in court for me to lose my children...twice.

the never ending, undiagnosed heart condition.......

because when it was time for me to go to college--worked part time, full load of classes, good grades, grandma planned for my whole life for me to have an education, bank day for college from kindergarten--you threw me out and said I made you sick.

No notice--on Thursday--I'm moving this weekend you need to find another place to live--you can move in with grandma, join the navy or move in with your boyfriend--I don't care.

Of course, the navy would actually have been the best move but I could not figure that out, and it is hard to accomplish in two days--or what, I don't even know--I broke my grandmas heart and moved in with my boyfriend.

Dumb move too since he was trying to have another girlfriend.......

anyway, I wanted to not always be the bad seed, the bashing person for mother and the exe's, live my own life and all of that--be my own person.

I said, well, if they want to keep bashing me all of the time let them, but I will just move away.

and moving to Florida turned into a beg mess to with horrible repercussions for my children and I am sorry I have hurt them--no kid deserves bad judgement from the parent.

I am glad I know them and sorry I have hurt them.