TV News, Bald Eagles, Discovery Park in Seattle,
San Diego Radio,
Politics and News,
Sewing--The Sewing Herald Tribune....we need contributors, Travel....
Agree or Disagree....Please feel free to comment.....all comments appreciated and thank you for your time.....
and
food, dogs and cats......
let's sit down at this cafe, have a cup of coffee and talk about politics.
He vanished overnight — and more than a year later, there are still no answers. Jonathan Hoang, a 22-year-old man on the autism spectrum, disappeared from his home in Arlington, Washington on March 30, 2025.
His phone, shoes, wallet, and jacket were all left behind. Only his iPad was missing. Family members describe Jonathan as gentle, trusting, and routine-driven — making his sudden disappearance even more alarming.
Now, his case is the focus of this week’s Cold Case Project. A $100,000 reward is being offered for information that leads to his whereabouts.
If you have any information, contact Crime Stoppers of Puget Sound at 800-222-TIPS.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel shame. But I do have evidence that there was once a time when I was shame free. I have a photograph of me as a little baby, smiling with a twinkle in my eye. I look radiant and filled with joy. I have another photo of me at four years old, in which I am frowning, and I look defiant and lost. The twinkle in my eye has been replaced with a dark, empty look.
What had occurred that had taken away the joyous smile on my face and replaced it with darkness, emptiness and hatred?
The answer: shame. Shame replaced my innocence, my joy, my exuberance for life. Shame caused me to build a wall of protection and defiance. Who was I defending myself against? My mother, a woman who was so full of shame herself that she couldn’t help but project it onto me.
After being neglected and emotionally abused by my mother, sexually abused at nine and raped at twelve, I found myself riddled with shame and the belief that I was unlovable and rotten inside. I began acting out by shoplifting. I was angry at my mother, the men who had abused me and at all authority figures. I wanted to get back at everyone who had taken advantage of me. After I was finally caught and brought home in a cop car, my mother gave up on me.
Fortunately, I didn’t give up on myself. I knew there was goodness in me and I fought to find it. I turned to solitude and introspection and began to find the pieces of myself I discarded when trying to shield myself from further harm.
Here’s how I worked to heal myself and combat my feelings of shame—and how you can, too:
Stop blaming yourself for the abuse. There is absolutely nothing a child can do that warrants a parent emotionally or physically abusing them, and there is absolutely nothing a child can do to cause someone to sexually abuse them. You did notcause your abuser to mistreat you.
Give your shame back to your abusers. Parents often project their own shame onto their children, as was the case with my mother, who had me out of wedlock and felt horrible shame because of it. The following exercise will help you give your shame back to your abuser:
Imagine “going inside your body” to look for shame. Some see shame as a cloud of blackness. Others, as an ache in their stomach or a pain in their heart. Wherever you sense shame, imagine taking it and throwing it back at your abuser(s).
Gain an understanding as to why you behaved as you did. Instead of viewing yourself as “bad” for acting out (if you did), begin to view your negative behaviors as attempts to cope with the abuse. The following behaviors are some of the most common coping mechanisms in former victims of childhood abuse:
Eating disorders: bingeing, compulsive overeating and emotional eating.
Self-injury: cutting, burning, head banging or any other form of self-harm.
Difficulties with sexual adjustment: sexualizing relationships, becoming hypersexual, avoiding sexual contact or alternating between these two extremes.
Show self-compassion. Compassion is the antidote to shame. It acts to neutralize the poison of shame, to remove the toxins created by shame. The goal is to treat yourself in a loving, kind and supportive way. Think of a phrase to soothe and encourage yourself, look at yourself in the mirror, make eye contact and say this phrase with certainty.
Provide yourself with forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is different from letting yourself off the hook or making excuses for negative behavior. The more shame you heal, the more clearly you’ll be able to see yourself. Instead of hardening your heart and pushing people away, you’ll become more receptive to others. It’s important to work towards forgiving yourself for: the abuse itself, the ways you hurt others because of your own abusive experiences, and the ways you have harmed yourself.
Don’t let shame take over your life. It took me many years to rid myself of the shame that followed me nearly all my life. The important thing is that you just beginto heal your shame, so it doesn’t dictate your life.
Beverly Engel has been a practicing psychologist for 35 years and is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She is the author of twenty-two self-help books andRaising Myself: A Memoir of Neglect, Shame, and Growing Up Too Soon. In addition to her professional work, Engel frequently lends her expertise to national television talk shows.
Scared dog would not lunge forward. He can be helped. If you can't spend the time socializing him it would be worth taking him to a person trained and familiar with german shepherds and protection breeds
This is what I had to do with my rescue dog. He was grabbing the leash, lunging, refusing to walk. The trainer said the same thing...it doesn't matter what he thinks--he has to be trained and be able to walk down the street without acting up. I thought there was something wrong with him. He was so untrained at over three years old. Everything Robert says I have to use every day. He has to be controlled all of the time. He is a lot more manageable now. H e would get really growly and show his teeth because he wanted to get on the bed. I just could not understand what he was doing but the trainer said, no, he has to mind. That is all there is. She saved my Lu. This is Jenn at Rocket Dog in Mt Vernon, WA. Never would have gotten the idea to take him to a trainer without vids like this. Here is LU now https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pQzZphz9j_k?feature=share
Community shows up to honor WWII veteran from Mass. with no known family
So happy for this man that he was honored in this way but here is another side of the story.
Beware Of The National Cemetery Administration:
Beware of The National Cemetery Administration
So that is really nice that they buried this man with dignity but here is the other side of that story. Yes, they have this protocol in place if someone does not have a family, but my mother was buried, a Veteran, as if she was an indigent without a family and the Prescott National Cemetery could not even be bothered to let me know. Now, they want to pretend that they did not do it...like I do not exist. AS long as I don't exist everything is fine and they look good. Here is my story:
My Mother is Frances Zena Barclay at Prescott National Cemetery.
Just taking a moment to call out the National Cemetery Administration for burying my mother and not letting me know.
My cousin, scott varley, picked up my mother's ashes for me during COVID.
She had her will and trust in place naming me as the agent in charge of her remains.
She also had her cremation already paid for with Neptune and owned her grave by her parents at Greenwood in San Diego.
I had to travel to bury my mother in San Diego where we had agreed to meet.
As the time approached I decided to wait as Greenwood had raised their price by 1000 dollars in 6 months and it was not a good time to go.
I have a history of 16 phone calls and numerous texts with my cousin.
He became angry because I said I wanted to wait and buried her without my knowledge at Prescott Cemetery in Arizona.
He told the people he did not know where I was or how to get in touch with me.
Randy Heard, director, told me he did not know about me but on the FOIA papers of the information page for the cemetery we see that he not only knew about me as the daughter but he knew my name.
Randy Jones, who conducted the burial, told me that scott did indeed make false statements to the NCA. He told me he had to swear to that in an investigation.
Randy Heard told me scott varley did not make any false statements and the VA did not do anything wrong.
AS soon as I realized randy heard was not being truthful he refused to speak to me.
The NCA has gone out of their way to not put the will and trust in the file.
scott boasted that there was a 21 gun salute for my mother at her service and he was the only one there. He bragged he saved my mother from a pauper's grave. Neptune had to call me and I had to give my okay for scott to take the ashes. He offered to pick them up form Neptune as a favor and save me a trip.
There are many VA publications that encourage the veteran to get their wishes in place with a will and trust before they pass. My mother had all of that in order. They state the will and trust will be honored at all of the VA facilities. My mother was at the VA home in San Diego when she passed. She had to have everything in order about her burial in order to stay at the VA home. I am listed as NOK on the death cert and the remains permit and her destination on the death cert is Greenwood in SAn Diego. Vince at Neptune told me there was never an issue of a pauper's grave. There was no other place for her to go other than Greenwood since that was the destination on the death cert.
I said to scott why didn't you give the cemetery my phone number.
The NCA has gone out of their way to not recognize the facts of the case.
My name is Sharon McDowell and I live in Seattle. My phone is 316-347-9710. chloe.louise.langendorf.louis@gmail.com
I have asked the NCA what is the written rule for making someone the NOK at the NCA. As far as I can see that is not written and no one will give me an answer. scott varley made himself the personal representative for the case. I have made many blog posts about this case and here is a recent one: https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2025/07/finding-frances.html#google_vignette
I would like to understand the details of this case and how it happened in writing from the NCA.
My mother was a Veteran as a member of the WAVES in World War II.
Everyone knew my mother was very proud of the fact she had her burial plans in place and paid for before she passed including Scott who visited her on occasion. Her grave is right next to her parents and her brothers, one of them is scott's father, George Varley. scott knew I was working with Greenwood as I have a text where he is sending me the remains permit to send to Greenwood. Even though my mother owned her grave Greenwood was charging 2000.00 to dig the hole and place the urn in a container and they raised it to 3000.00. I knew I could get a headstone from the VA and scott and I talked about this on many occasions. I was also thinking of Miramar as a possibility.
After I told scott I wanted to wait to bury her he refused to take my phone call or answer my texts.
So that is really nice that they buried this man with dignity but here is the other side of that story. Yes, they have this protocol in place if someone does not have a family, but my mother was buried, a Veteran, as if she was an indigent without a family and the Prescott National Cemetery could not even be bothered to let me know. Now, they want to pretend that they did not do it...like I do not exist. AS long as I don't exist everything is fine and they look good. Here is my story:
My Mother is Frances Zena Barclay at Prescott National Cemetery.
Just taking a moment to call out the National Cemetery Administration for burying my mother and not letting me know.
My cousin, scott varley, picked up my mother's ashes for me during COVID.
She had her will and trust in place naming me as the agent in charge of her remains.
She also had her cremation already paid for with Neptune and owned her grave by her parents at Greenwood in San Diego.
I had to travel to bury my mother in San Diego where we had agreed to meet.
As the time approached I decided to wait as Greenwood had raised their price by 1000 dollars in 6 months and it was not a good time to go.
I have a history of 16 phone calls and numerous texts with my cousin.
He became angry because I said I wanted to wait and buried her without my knowledge at Prescott Cemetery in Arizona.
He told the people he did not know where I was or how to get in touch with me.
Randy Heard, director, told me he did not know about me but on the FOIA papers of the information page for the cemetery we see that he not only knew about me as the daughter but he knew my name.
Randy Jones, who conducted the burial, told me that scott did indeed make false statements to the NCA. He told me he had to swear to that in an investigation.
Randy Heard told me scott varley did not make any false statements and the VA did not do anything wrong.
AS soon as I realized randy heard was not being truthful he refused to speak to me.
The NCA has gone out of their way to not put the will and trust in the file.
scott boasted that there was a 21 gun salute for my mother at her service and he was the only one there. He bragged he saved my mother from a pauper's grave. Neptune had to call me and I had to give my okay for scott to take the ashes. He offered to pick them up form Neptune as a favor and save me a trip.
There are many VA publications that encourage the veteran to get their wishes in place with a will and trust before they pass. My mother had all of that in order. They state the will and trust will be honored at all of the VA facilities. My mother was at the VA home in San Diego when she passed. She had to have everything in order about her burial in order to stay at the VA home. I am listed as NOK on the death cert and the remains permit and her destination on the death cert is Greenwood in SAn Diego. Vince at Neptune told me there was never an issue of a pauper's grave. There was no other place for her to go other than Greenwood since that was the destination on the death cert.
I said to scott why didn't you give the cemetery my phone number.
The NCA has gone out of their way to not recognize the facts of the case.
My name is Sharon McDowell and I live in Seattle. My phone is 316-347-9710. chloe.louise.langendorf.louis@gmail.com
I have asked the NCA what is the written rule for making someone the NOK at the NCA. As far as I can see that is not written and no one will give me an answer. scott varley made himself the personal representative for the case. I have made many blog posts about this case and here is a recent one: https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2025/07/finding-frances.html#google_vignette
I would like to understand the details of this case and how it happened in writing from the NCA.
My mother was a Veteran as a member of the WAVES in World War II.
Everyone knew my mother was very proud of the fact she had her burial plans in place and paid for before she passed including Scott who visited her on occasion. Her grave is right next to her parents and her brothers, one of them is scott's father, George Varley. scott knew I was working with Greenwood as I have a text where he is sending me the remains permit to send to Greenwood. Even though my mother owned her grave Greenwood was charging 2000.00 to dig the hole and place the urn in a container and they raised it to 3000.00. I knew I could get a headstone from the VA and scott and I talked about this on many occasions. I was also thinking of Miramar as a possibility.
After I told scott I wanted to wait to bury her he refused to take my phone call or answer my texts.
@bjbumblebee5324
1 hour ago