Mar 16, 2023

VA Burials--Flaws in the System--Where is the Dignity

Update:


Jan. 27, 2024

There seems to be a huge issue about getting the will and trust into the file.  The National Cemetery Administration is going out of their way not to put the will and trust into the file.  The will and trust names me, the daughter, as the Next of Kin and the agent in charge of her remains.


So frustrated with this Veterans Administration policy on burials--there is nothing left to do but write.

My cousin hijacked my mother's ashes--basically pretending to the VA I did not exist.

He had offered to pick them up for me in San Diego where we all had lived forever.

We both lived in other places now and I stupidly agreed...it saved me the trip and it was getting near the time I had said I would get them.

San Diego Neptune said to pick them up before Christmas and I agreed.

I was never late in picking them up--one understands time frames--this is a salient point to the story.

I think they must have been inundated with remains and they were filling up fast with ashes after COVID,

My cousin had engaged in endless self-congrulatory statements about saving the ashes and my mother.

We were to meet later and place her at Greenwood...but the prices kept going up...even when she owned the plot.

High gas prices and car rental, a lovely old doggy girl and another family member not able to make it and I renegged on the trip--basically due to cost.

I was never worried about time....but the cousin was and this created the problem.

He claimed he had not heard from me in years and I was totally uninterested--he buried her behind my back in revenge.

Yes, they had the 21 gun salute he gloated, and I was the only one there.

Of course he was the only one there--why didn't he call me.

Oh, I have given them a ton of facts trying to move mother to Miramar in San Diego but they will not listen.

Remembering I had my old phone, I dug up a history of plenty of phone calls and texts between the cousin and myself--yes, it more than proves my point that I really do exist.

The director of the cems says it is a moot point--according to counsel.

Of course they can't listen--it would prove all of my points and that my cousin was a bold faced liar--again congratulating himself on his actions.

I was never worried about time--mother named me to take care of her--I did take good care of her.

It is humilating--it is not a dignified burial.

Here's the thing--my cousin has listed himself as NOK at the cem and I guess as punishment and revenge for waiting, he wants to keep it that way.

Well, my phone calls make the point and he has asked me not to send him any more information--obviously he does not want to hear the truth.

According to counsel...........




My counsel.

Did Scott have my number?

Why wasn't I invited to the service?

A history of my phone calls showing communication with my cousin, Scott.  He told the VA he did not know how to get in touch with me.








Nov 14, 2022

Happy Birthday to Frances Zena Varley Barclay 1914--2020

 Frances Zena Varley was born in San Diego in 1914.










She lived in North Park.















She loved San Diego.


Frances joined the WAVES to help out with the war effort during WW2.








Being a member of the WAVES was a very important part of her life--she always mentioned it as one of her best accomplishments.


Hoover High School was a big part of her life.


She often stayed with her Aunt Zena in Orange, Ca.  As Aunt Zena progressed in her life and reached an advanced age Frances did a very wonderful job of taking care of her.


Aunt Zena and her Gran, Helen Arnim were great influences in her life and she loved them very much ....and she loved Orange.






Mary Varley, Marion Strum and Ruth Harget were her cousins and they were great friends until the end of their lives--all living in the San Diego area.


Mary Varley and Aunt Hannah at Mission Cliffs Gardens--1927







Oil painting was one of her talents and hobbies.


Not to mention her love for genealogy and unending search for information on her great grandmother, Hezena Beall.


Her brothers were George Lovell Varley and Richard Byron Varley, Jr.  she always admired her brothers.


As her years progressed she resided in the Veterans Home in Chula Vista.


She passed at 103 after life of exercise and a healthy diet.