Sep 10, 2014

Ending the Charade--Write it or Perish

Seriously, my mother is killing me......or some would say killing my spirit.

I am losing my mind in a serious way.

My son an angry tone....."MOM, Don't just go there and get all mad's not like your mother is going to start liking you."

97--recently broke her hip.

Her goal is to walk around the building with the cane according to PT.

Actually, she is doing great getting up and around--walking with her walker--to a degree.

So back to our big fight--right--the one we had when I had the audacity to say she needed to do some walking.  Would she like to walk around the building with me and Ronnie.

This is the usual pattern...gets real mad and throws me out...I don't know what I am talking about.  OR nurse for 25 years--about the most common surgery, a daily surgery, is the old lady breaking their hip.

Runs over to my ex-husbands house and recounts the story of how awful I am....her favorite try and tell her what to do.

Imagine--a daughter balling a mother out.

You're trying to tell me what to do.

Arrogant, chin jutting out, Bill O'Reilly style.

Mother routinely searches out these predators to commiserate with them about how tragic and unfair her life has been--the trials and tribulations of raising a daughter like me.

Can everyone please just feel sorry for her.........

So here is the question--what are you suppose to do--tell people you do not want anything to do with mother when they call and say she broke her hip.

When other family members are talking to you in that odd way like there is something wrong with you.

You see, you can't just say to nice normal people you don't care--then you just look even more odd.

What's the point..........

The whole thing is a charade......Mother could not wait to slam me to my ex-husband--yes, mother is friends with my ex-husband and his twenty year girl friend.  But she is resentful at admitting I even had a clue of insightful information.  You don't know what your talking about....I'm too old to one of her favorite statements.

She would never take the opportunity to say I am fabulous to the predatory and small-minded individual.

At the end of the day that would ruin the platform of their relationship.

You see, what most people don't get is that almost every word out of mother's mouth is a lie.  A lie told with a bold tone and then resold with even more arrogance.

Mother unleashed.......

You see, there is never anyone around to say "Gee, Frances, maybe you are hurting Chloe's feelings."

Yes, there was Grandma--amazing Grandma--she could control mother to some degree.  But, alas, my saviour has passed.

I don't think anyone ever really believes me--that is the frustrating part--and then I usually ruin everything even more with anger.

NO--it's the way you talk--you fussed when you were two years old--you've always fussed.

Yes, mother also supports physical violence--husband to wife--again it's the way I talk--"You talk so bad."

What am I doing--I don't know--I'm 62 and still banging my head against the wall--thank God for dogs, children and Grandmas.

So I said to mother let's end the charade--what is to be gained--you're 97--I'm 62......anything can happen when you are 97 having surgery.

So we have stupid F***ing Freddie as the brilliant good Samaritan who is mother's power of attorney.

I said, "Mother, if you have a Joan River's moment I'll just be begging Freddie for information again."  He recently said stay out of San Diego--you're mother doesn't want you here......stay in should get a job.

Remember, it's often said by others....Freddie is only doing what your mother wants.

Another humiliating situation created by mother--right, like the ex-husband.  Remember, mother never takes the opportunity to rectify false information.  It's said Freddie knows the truth.  I haven't figured out the whole Freddie deal yet but something seems odd to me.

Another point........

Keep in mind mother does not want anyone in her room helping her organize so she can get back to normal living--some one might talk about her at the manor--like she does not talk, right.

And here is the other side of it--Mother saw me the other day when she was going to PT and she was smiling and laughing--She seemed so happy to see me at that moment--I was so happy--I can't get that picture out of my mind.  You see, I also feel very sorry for mother--I think she had a tragic younger life.  I should have been a better daughter and kept my mouth shut.  I am so sad about everything.  I should have been smart enough to fix things.

Undone--thanks to anyone for be continued