People, when you write it you share it.
It is a helpful thing for frustration.
How does the NCA verify information? How did they verify the facts given to them by my cousin?
The National Cemetery Administration is the government arm of burials for veterans. It is run by the VA--the Veterans Administration.
I think most of the time they do a very good job--but there are glitches in the system.
My cousin had my mother's ashes. I foolishly agreed to let him pick them up for me--it did save a trip.
Full of revenge and angry with me for being indecisive my cousin placed her ashes behind my back at Prescott National Cemetery.
38 CFR § 38.600 Personal Representative
A “Personal representative” means a family member or other individual who has identified himself or herself to the National Cemetery Administration as the person responsible for making decisions concerning the interment of the remains of or memorialization of a deceased individual.” Hence, “Personal representative” (PR) is an umbrella term, which encompass the Next of Kin (NOK). Note: 38 CFR 38.600(a) Personal representative definition allows NCA to accept anyone who identifies as the person responsible for making decisions concerning the interment of remains of or memorialization of a deceased individual.
Annoyed with Greenwood, I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait until I could afford it and I was starting to consider Miramar at a friend's suggestion.
Scott was never the person responsible for making decisions about my mother--this is in the trust and with the advanced health care directive in the trust.
He started his talks with the burial scheduling office in March claiming he had not heard from me in years and he had no idea where I was. This is what he said to me in a recent phone call before he quit talking to me again.
Did he mention we had spoken in November when I said I could not afford the trip to San Diego?
Did he mention to the scheduling office she already owned her plot at Greenwood.
Did he mention I had been chatting with Greenwood about the price..one can see my text on a different post.
To the individual at NCA:
Please do not throw out everything I suggest because it looks like you are only interested in absolving yourself from any responsibility and it is terribly uncaring. Like the time you did not want to admit I was the daughter.....and not dignified.
They really like to talk about dignity.
In this instance your policy is very flawed and creates a huge mess and definitely is not dignified for the NOK of the person who has passed. Scott falsely identified himself as NOK when he knew I was completely available....we have this on date and time with text and e-mails to Greenwood....and phone calls with date and time.
It seems like they are being so careful with their words.
Could it be they do not want to make a statement clarifying that Scott made false statements.
The other hurtful part:
Scott loves rolling in his own glory--he is good and I am bad. Hard core trumper at heart he loves mentioning the wild policies of Gerry Brown and since I love Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris and other dems it seems like this gives him leeway to disregard everything I say.
He acted as if my mother did not like me and therefore he had the right to make these decisions just because he was so grand.
I know I took good care of my mother in her final years...and did Scott ever live with mother?
Why did the guy at the NCA mention to me he put a note in the files that I was the daughter. Was that after he finally said who I was, or what?
He keeps talking about his counsel...I do not have counsel.
"I did the right thing for Aunt Frances, go ahead and sue me."
Seriously, Scott, wouldn't it have been easier to just give me a call.
One wonders if the burial office noted that I was the NOK on the DD214 they had to access in order to dtermine eligibility for her burial.
But why did you lie Scott, why. I've got a history of 16 phone calls between us from the first of the year until November....why did you tell them you had no way to get a hold of me 4 months later.
My mother wanted to be at Greenwood in San Diego by her mother and father and brothers, Scott's dad...I was never worried about time.
Greenwood raised their prices 1000 dollars in 6 months--just to dig the hole in the ground.
Trust me on this one, people, if it ws the other way around and mother was trying to put me in the ground she would definitely be looking for the least expensive option.
The doggy girl was getting so old to make the trip.
March 20, after a message, which he would not respond to, he placed mother's ashes claiming he did not know where I was or how to get a hold of me.
Why?
Here is a post with more information:
Thank you for reading.
Scott told the VA he id not know how to get in touch with me.
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| Scott said he did not know how to get in touch with me but here he is sending me the Remains Permit to send to Greenwood where my mother owned her plot next to his father. |
I wish the VA would have invited me to my mother's service.
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