Trying so hard to tell the story of my mother's ashes.
My cousin had the ashes after picking them up for me with my consent--It saved me a trip.
But later when I wanted to wait to place the ashes he put her at Prescott National Cemetery behind my back.
Mother and I were outraged--she does not want to suffer the heat or the cold of Arizona after living in San Diego forever.
Here is the Grape Street Dog Park in Balboa Park in San Diego featuring Ronnie:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/A4sByWfo73gAGZBh7
She already owned her plot at Greenwood in San Diego by her parents and her brothers--one being my cousin's father.
OMG--what a mix-up.
They keep givng me policy.
According to policy one has to ID themselves as the one designated to take care of the remains.
Obviusly, he had to create a false narrative.
He insisted I did not exist or had no interest in the ashes but he forgot to say we had 16 phone calls between us talking about her placement.
One is required to ID the NOK per the scheduling office and give their phone number.
He failed to mention I had the trust with the advanced health care directive.
I am mentioned as the daughter on the remains permit and the death cert.
Four months later when the talks started he claimed he had no way to get a hold of me or knew where I was....so he said.
He stated there was an individual at the scheduling office or cemetery who agreed with his idea completely of placeing the ashes without my knowledge claiming he would give me the name and phone number. I could call this number for my own info.
That was a few weeks ago before he quit speaking with me again.
 |
| Bird Park, Balboa Park in San Diego |
Back to policy....
We do not get involved in family issues.
Seriously, that is a good umbrella term for them to stick with in order to absolve themselves from any resonsibility.
There are so many questions and issues with this incident but how does one complain?
Right now, in this post I would like to complain about not being able to report the burial scheduling office. I want to invistigate in detail what happened.
On the issue of policy, is this really a family issue or is it a screw up on their part?
They are so careful in their wording--Mr. Phillips recently said he was going to put a note in the file about me being the daughter.
What does that mean. They have all of the info now including the legal documents.
I have explained to Mr. Phillips I want to go into what happened at the scheduling office but he keeps giving me the 800 number.
I have called that number about 10 times and there is not a way to get to a supervisor.
They will not get back to me.
It seems like they do not want me to go up this road.
Now, I am just writing here in frustration and hoping someone at the National Cemetery Administration will be interested.
What information is there to be found at the burial scheduling office. Do they not want to answer questions...or maybe they do not want to take the information.
This thing has resulted in extreme confusion, expense and heartache....not to mention sleeplessness and migrain headaches.
I feel like I have lost my mother.
I wish my cousin had not made statements to me that he was better able to take care of my mother than I was. At the end of the day shaming someone is an ugly move...no two ways about it.
Anyone who reads this--thank you for reading.
Mother, do not,worry, I will come and get you and we will go to SD soon.
 |
| Ronald |
Some other posts on this subject:
https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2023/03/buried-by-national-cemetery.html
https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2023/03/national-cemetery-administration.html
https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2023/03/va-burials-flaws-in-system-where-is.html
Dear Chole, I read your story in regards to your Mom’s burial in a national cemetery that took place without her or your wishes. Was your Mom a veteran or was your Dad? If your Mom was not a veteran, I must believe that was interred in Prescott N.C. Under your Dad’s eligibility. I’ll watch for your reply.
ReplyDeleteMy mother is the veteran.
ReplyDelete