update 12-28-12: Well, everyone knows I have always loved waving and riding--especially when the focus is on me!!.......rush replied when questioned about the exciting news!!!
and what are ROWGS, asked one of the reporters at the press conference......Oh--that was the rich old white guys, but they're not in style any more. You know, at one time they ruled the world, but now they don't....and this is sort of a celebration.
10-17-12
Sean Hannity: I'm Just So Angry With Rush Right Now!
Highlights of the story:
Rush Limbaugh's secret phone call to Bill Clinton.
rush limbaugh gets his ya ya's out then washes Whoopi Goldberg's feet in hopes of redemption.
Yes, rush, you were very naughty and now it is time for your discipline!
My liberal limbawdian fantasy by Chloe Louise Langendorf Louis.......
rush, you portrayed your activities of "watching" as normal while you
debased the activities of young women as vulgar and street worthy.
In my dream your punishment will be allocated by Whoopi Goldberg--she
said in her television special she's willing to talk about it--she is
willing to have a conversation about race and I am including women--she
doesn't mind if there is a disagreement. She is willing to answer
questions.
The limbaughing of limbaugh...............
Now--we'll begin by sitting down and having a talk.
In retribution you will get down on your knees and wash Whoopi
Goldberg's feet and listen politely as she takes her valuable time to
explain to you where you have gone wrong with women, racial slurs, the
tea party, with President Obama--and with your life in general.
You'll act interested.
You will be a guest on THE VIEW and tell the women of America what you
learned and how lucky you were to have the opportunity to have a chat
with Whoopi. It turned into a really enlightening experience. Barbara
Walters will interview you with heartfelt questions and you will cry to
show you're sorry and your sincerity.
You'll do "Oprah's Next Chapter" and discuss your new hobby of flower
arranging and your new life, in general. A serious discussion will
continue on how getting in touch with your feminine side has had
positive effects on all of your relationships.
You will say that health care is a right of every human being in each
appearance--not something to be bought and sold and bantered about as an
election talking point.
CNN will pick you up for a new show about multi-cultural women in the
United States and around the world.
You will feature Cooking With Alia to showcase strong young women around
the world. You like it as a business model and you have always
wondered about the proper use of Moroccan spices.
You have Glen Beck and Bill O'Reilly on your new show and try to chat
with them about the possibility of changing their ways--have they ever
just thought about being a Democrat?
You will be heralded for developing a 12 step program for R.O.W.G.'s to
promote the betterment of all people and relationships in the United
States and around the world.
Your crowning glory will be to write a column for drudge to promote
equal rights for women.
You disclose to Oprah in a soft voice that the giant hole in your heart
has closed and you are finally able to give up food and pills as a
crutch. You also reveal you are actually enjoying your new
humility--you never thought you would be able to say that. Driven by
fear and insecurity about your own masculinity you were hiding behind
the arrogance and the pretense was becoming a burden. You will also
confide to Oprah on national television that you have secretly always
been jealous of Bill Clinton and you went home with a stomach-ache after
that time you made fun of Hillary's hair.
Sean Hannity finally challenges you to a face-off in disgust. You
reveal to Sean, you had been looking to Bill Clinton for diet and health
advice for a long time. As you and Bill eventually became friends, it
was hard at first, you realized that he was a great world leader and you
asked him if you could make a large financial contribution to is
humanitarian causes.
Bill agrees to keep your new life private but urges you to publicly add
your name to his cause--you finally give in and your name is glorified
with other world leaders.
Sean remains angry and mystified and continues to suffer from the disease of chronic and incurable self-righteousness.
Rush finally concedes to Leslie Stahl in CBS Sunday Morning exclusive,
"I looked in the mirror one day and said, I'm large! and not just in
radioland; frankly, Leslie, I was feeling jowly." "I heard Bill C. say
he only eats things that are grown--no faces--my face was giant, and I
did not want someone to eat me!"
Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi will ride together as Grand Marshall's in
the Rose Parade in a final celebratory jubilee. You were honored
because of the success of your anti-bullying campaign in America.
And Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Walters and Whoopi
Goldberg all lived happily ever after and Rush ended up being a frequent
guest on The View.
......3 months later--bill, glen and drudge couldn't help but notice
Rush's new found popularity with women (and higher ratings) and finally
joined the 12 step program as followers and the world became a better
place*
......rush asked Leslie Stahl after the interview lights went off---did
she know of any classes about making jewelry, earrings specifically, he
loves color and wants a couple of pairs of earrings like hers--one for
himself and one for his wife, too.
