Next of Kin: National Cemetery Administration September 27, 2023

Finding My Mother's Ashes

#FindingMyMother'sAshes

Did The National Cemetery Administration Lie?

 Did The National Cemetery Administration Lie?

My mother was old, 103, and my doggy girl was old, too, 16.  She was just too old to make the trip according to my cousins's schedule.  There was not a time frame to put her ashes in the ground--all of her people had passed.

In a word, yes!

Why was I excluded from my mother's sevice?

I was told by the cemetery director, randy heard, that they did not know about me--they did not have the death cert as it was not required by the state of Arizona.

We see from FOIA they did, indeed, know about me:

My name is all over the VA system hooked to my mother.

They should have called to let me know they would be burying her ashes.

My cousin had picked up the ashes for me as a favor.  He called and asked if he could pick up the ashes and I said yes as it saved me a trip.  When I wanted to wait to bury her he becamed angry and placed her ashes without telling me, willfully, withholding my phone number from the cemetery.

Les' Melnyk Says the NCA Does Not Verify Facts

 They did not verify the facts.

They lied about the records.

They congratulated themselves.

If everything was done so perfectly, why did cemetery director, randy heard, repeatedly lie about having my name in writing prior to the service.

They buried my mother but they could not be bothered to let me know.

A phone call would have been nice.

.

Les' Melnyk confirms the National Cemetery Administration does not verify facts.


Seriously, Les', even when I am listed in writing as the daughter prior to the service....how crass and uncaring can the NCA possibly be?

I asked randy heard if he had the remains permit.....

https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/2023/05/hornswoggled-by-randy-heard-director-of.html

They told me to get a court order to be NOK for my mother.  From the FOIA docs we see a court order is not necessary.

I am asking the NCA to list me as the NOK to my mother at this time and to acknowledge the will and trust where I am listed as the NOK for my mother and the agent in charge of my mother's remains to be placed in her file.

For some reason they are refusing to put the will and trust in the file.

Why?

jay dalrymple's Nuggets

 

jay dalrymple had to comment on my financial situation--what did that have to do with anything--I had an agreement to meet with scott in November to place my mother at Greenwood but when I wanted to wait scott became angry.  I was never worried about time.

From the tone and subject matter one might guess this communication could be from jay dalrymple.

Do keep in mind it is mr dalrymple who told me many folks make false statements today and hung up one me.

One wonders if mr dalyrymple would be so cavalier if it was his mother that was buried without his knowledge.

One would kindly ask mr dalrymple for empathy at a time like this.

As far as his "interesting nugget" of information goes...my mother's cremation was paid for years in advance.  She had paid for her cremation at Neptune and her plot at Greenwood next to her mother and father and her brother's one of them being scott's father.

She was very proud of this fact and often repeated it and scott often reminded me of this.

There was never any kind of money agreement with scott varley.

I probably did say I was on a budget and the trip to San Diego would cost about 6 thousand and I preferred to wait until prices were lower.  Scott did not want me to wait, became angry and buried her without my knowledge.

I have shown the text where scott sent me the remains permit for me to send to Greenwood.  Greenwood did raise their prices from 2000 to 3000 in six months.  I felt this was expensive when she thought everything was paid for in advance.

scott merely called and asked if he could pick up the ashes for me as a favor as he was visiting San Diego where we all lived forever.

I felt we had a good relationship and foolishly agreed, never guessing this horrible fiasco would ensue.

In my job, as an operating room nurse for 25 years, one has to be all about the facts.

My point is that I guess I expect other people to take their job seriously and be about the facts, too.  We cannot lie or make false statements.  Not only would someone find out immediately, but, honestly, would you really want someone bringing you in the operating  room for a surgery who was not being careful with the facts.  You know what I mean--right arm / left arm--you get my drift.

Why would jay dalrymple find it to be such an "interesting nugget of information"  to know that I was on a budget?  More than that, what if I honestly did not have any money, Would that give scott varley the right to bury my mother without my knowledge when I am listed in the will and trust to be in charge of her remains and carry out her wishes.

mr randy heard ends all of his e-mails with the quote from John Lewis to make a good noise.

But when I ask questions and try to make a noise people have complained they have spent too much time talking to me.  Do keep in mind I am asking why randy heard dodged the questions repeatedly about the remains permit when we know now he had it all along.

Do keep in mind randy heard said I was not notified about the service because he didn't know about me but now we see with the FOIA he knew about me all along as I was listed as a NOK on the paperwork.

I have asked the NCA to acknowledge that my cousin scott varley willfully withheld information so I would not know he was burying my mother in Prescott.  There is plenty of evidence showing he had my phone number.  Would randy heard or John Lewis think that is a good noise?

So when I have asked the NCA repeatedly to admit that scott varley lied I do not appreciate one person saying I had issues with mental health.  Does it mean I have an issue with mental health when I merely asked the NCA to admit the truth.

Remember randy heard said scott varley did not make any false statements and the VA did not do anything wrong.

And remember, it was sworn to in an investigation that scott varley absolutely made false statements--this was from a person at the cemetery.

Do the people at the NCA think it is a joke that my cousin said I did the right thing for Aunt Frances--we had a 21 gun salute and I was the only one there.

He simply could have called me up.

Do the people at the NCA think I am mentally ill because I had to endure my other cousin, jean, scott's sister sending me an expletive ridden e-mail when someone must have said something about exhuming ashes-words i never use--simply because she became aware of the fact that I wanted to move my mother's ashes to where she owned her plot.

I do not appreciate the sentiment of the NCA regarding this humiliating and extremely hurtful event.

What if I was broke, what if I was mentally ill, what if I was homeless, what if I never wanted to bury the ashes but keep them with me........

Does that give scott varley the right to lie about me, about my contact information and to bury my mother's ashes without letting me know.

My mother put me in charge of the disposition of her remains, not scott varly, and not the NCA to make decisions for me.

I am sending the trust again where I am named the NOK and the agent in charge of her remains.   Please read 6.3 where it says I am the agent in charge of her remains.

Do me a favor, please read it--you can skim most of it--it does not really take that long.

In my job we take care of people, regardless of their income, home situation or their mental health--all of those people need surgery and if I put a derogatory remark in the chart questioning someone asking too many questions, their budget or their mental health I would be fired--it is simply not allowed.

One would suggest the same respect from the NCA and the VA, particularly when they cannot stop talking about dignity.

Please have some respect for my situation.

Thank you for your time,

Sharon McDowell

My Mother Joined The WAVES in 1943...

 My mother joined the WAVES in 1943. 

She was very proud of her assignment in Hawaii. 

Unfortunately, for mother, the VA has hijacked her ashes and placed her in AZ at The National Cemetery in Prescott. 

She wanted to be by her parents in San Diego at Greenwood where she already owned her plot. 

One of the NCA policies is to always be courteous. 

It would be nice if they answered my questions. 

They buried her on false statements given by my cousin. 

They do not want to admit they acted on false statements. 

The question is why? 

Most adults want to get to the truth of a situation but not the VA or NCA. 

Here is my story https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/.../national... 

Thank you for reading. Tell me if you have any tips for solving this thing. 

New Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs Matthew Quinn

My mother joined the WAVES in 1943. She was very proud of her assignment in Hawaii. Unfortunately, for mother, the VA has hijacked her ashes and placed her in AZ at The National Cemetery in Prescott. She wanted to be by her parents in San Diego at Greenwood where she already owned her plot. One of the NCA policies is to always be courteous. It would be nice if they answered my questions. They buried her on false statements given by my cousin. They do not want to admit they acted on false statements. The question is why? Most adults want to get to the truth of a situation but not the VA or NCA. Here is my story https://theronnierepublic.blogspot.com/.../national... Thank you for reading. Tell me if you have any tips for solving this thing. No lawyer is interested.